A brief intro for myself: I seldom thank people for any help that I requested. I don't know, it has become a habit for me not to thank people. Not that I'm being selfish or something, just that it is hard for me to say "Thank You" to other people especially those who I am really close to. I'm pretty sure those who know me would become accustomed to my habit and not making a big deal out of it. Well, I do get cynical "Where's your thank you?" from them, occasionally, but most of them jokingly said that knowing that being me, saying Thank You is quite a task. Simple words, not even sacrificing your whole breathe to be uttered. Then why would I am so reluctant to say these 'magic' words? Here's why..
As many of you has known, I practice social engineering. That means, I study people's behavior and while at the same time, practicing things I learnt. Frequently, I do things that are not noticed by other people unless they hold up and think carefully of my actions. I don't know why I do this. Is it because of fun, thrill (don't think of any), norm or just for the heck of it? Can't even answer that myself, although for certain actions I do know the reason behind it.
The reason why I don't thank people for the help I received is because, most of the time I don't thank them verbally. People think that by saying "Thank You" is the proper way of being grateful towards the help you get. Then I would like to ask, why is that for Muslim you said "Alhamdulillah" which means "Praise be to God" instead of "Syukran ya Allah" which directly means "Thank you Allah" after you eat, drink, receive something good etc? Same analytical concept, but applied in different subjects. I don't thank people because for me, saying thank you is over-rated. You said "Thank You" and after that what? The person helping you doesn't receive anything in return, which resulted the action to be a win-lose situation (your side is winning and the person is losing). Good because you're winning but why not making it even better, both side win? So here comes the logic. I do thank people, indistinctively. That means they mostly don't realize I'm being grateful of the help they give, not in that instance of time. If I ask for your help in buying things, I wouldn't mind you racking in extra charges (with consideration of the item price, mind you) because I already accounted for your loses of energy, time and any uncountable items you may have. Or I might give you extra credit in anything that I do, I don't know. It has become an unconscious act for me to the point I don't even realize I'm thanking someone. Then someone might ask, why don't I do both? Answer is simple and I stressed again, for me saying "Thank You" is over-rated. Do you, seriously, think that those thank you big fishes give are sincere? Put yourself in this situation: You've just completed a major and critical task for your organization. In what way would you think you are really appreciated: a thank-you card/e-mail from your supervisor, or a simple after-work invitation to have a cup of coffee at any nearby stall? I don't know, people choose option 1 mostly. Me, I'd prefer 2nd option, with the reason that this option will make me closer to my supervisor and in future, might favor me in return. I'm not the type who thinks 2 or 3 steps forward. I'm just an average-Joe like most of us. It's just that for the action I take, I do it without me realizing it. And I like it, as it will benefit me more in future than in present time.
So, specifically to my other half, I would like to stress this. Even though I don't say "Thank You" for all the help you've given me, I do express it visually or psychologically. I don't become an idiotic boyfriend like many men are, I don't make a big fuss when you drive my car and doesn't look at the side mirror while changing lane, I don't even scoff when I have to pick you up from my home in KL all the way to the end of Selangor. The reason, my dearest, for my lack of expressing my gratefulness, is because I like the way you help me. You didn't see how happy I am for every help you give. All those minor things that I asked you to do (yes I can do them by myself actually) are because I want us to be able to co-operate. I want us to perform flawlessly as a single mechanism, so that we don't run into trouble once we get married. We surely don't have much time to train if we don't start now. So, sincerely from my heart, I would like to beg so that you think for a second of anything I do before lashing your whip at me. Me, being a programmer, I do think for a reason. If you weight my brain, the left part would be heavier than the right part. Go search the functions of left brain and right brain, and you'll see the reason why. Yes I know you're the right-brain type, quick with words and emotional feelings. I am learning, give me some time to mutate into 'half programmer half poet-writer'. And I would like to ask you, please be logical in every action that you take. As what programmers always say, it's easier to code right the first time than to waste your time debugging things that shouldn't be there.
I've expressed myself enough for today, I think my brain starts to malfunction. Need some restlkasjzxm;p2;sa...
2 comments:
In one side:
"Action speaks louder than words.."
While in the other side:
"Words will always retain their power.."
But if we combine them both:
The greater the action, the more 'power' expressed and retained in the words themselves.
Simple example:
"Ahh~ Ouh yeah~ Harder~ Deeper~!!"
(The 'action' cannot be shown here la..)
:)
biasa la as a woman, we always need reassurance and feedback by words, walaupon your action speaks louder. if u love someone that much, u will try to meet in the middle. tak perlu say thanks everytime, tp kalau ape yg dia buat tu besar maknanya pd ko, n mkn masa & tenaga dia, just say it. She will surely appreciate it :)
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