Showing posts with label typedef. Show all posts
Showing posts with label typedef. Show all posts

May 5, 2007

Fighting a Losing Battle

Have you ever had the feeling of continuing a battle, regardless whether you were losing or winning, just continuing for the heck of it? It was like whichever side winning or losing, it didn't matter anymore. What kept the adrenaline going was the spirit, enjoyment, the excitement of the battle itself. It was like you were born to be a fighter, not a soldier. A soldier followed orders from commander, and thus winning or losing really matter. But a fighter, no, a fighter simply fights just for the adrenaline rush. The feeling of excitement, the thrill, the direct stimulation to your brain, it satisfies your hunger. Battle, how horrific it is, has become an art in the hand of a fighter.

Imagine a situation where a fighter fights a soldier. One side concentrates on winning, while the other focusing on the excitement. It disappoints the fighter, who enjoys long, hard-fought battle, to find that his opponent only cares about winning. He may just leave the scene, frustrated with what is going on. He may even give the victory to the soldier, realizing that the battle is not worth fighting for. Soldier may be overjoyed with the victory, whereas a fighter simply finds another worthy opponent.

That’s the difference. A soldier kills the opponent even though the opponent is unarmed, while a fighter helps the opponent recovers for another good battle in future.


Is victory that important, or is it overrated? You might win the battle, but I’ll make sure I win the damn war..

May 1, 2007

Weakpoint

  • Took me 7 years to know, learn and understand
  • Multiple failed result, with only 1 success rate
  • Tested in live environment resulting in near catastrophic event to fully get and understand the result
  • Proves that all these while I didn't know what it is actually
  • Can also functions as my weakpoint, so I need to take pre-emptive measure to counter it
[addition]
Happy Wesak Day to all Buddhist especially my good friend Ku Joo Han. Balik Semenanjung oit!

Apr 18, 2007

Pelik..

Haha, makin lama tengok makin banyak plak mende yang tak berkenan. Memula satu, kelmarin dah dua, pagi ni tengok dah tiga plak. Silap-silap kang mau semua benda tak berkenan. So baikla takyah tengok yek, aman dunia.

Buat tensi kepala je pun tengok banyak-banyak kali..

[additional]
Paintball pictures are here:

Feb 20, 2007

Conversation

Went out to Midvalley yesterday, planning to watch Ghost Rider with Izma. She asked me to pick her computer table from a Lowyat.net forumer at Taman Seputeh first. Settled the transaction at 9:45 am, then I headed to Midvalley. Entering and searching for parking spot was a breeze, I even got a parking spot right next to the door to the shopping mall. Guess not many KL people wake up early in the morning on holiday or because they had not come back from vacation. 10:15am, Midvalley was deserted. Shops were not yet opened, some of them were closed the whole day due to Chinese New Year holiday. Several of them were just starting their business, with staffs cleaning and sweeping the shops. Headed straight to GSC, also not many people around. I kinda like the scenario, where not many people around. Guess like after the whole week stressed up with work, my mind craved for peace and serenity.

Had my breakfast at the McD nearby, McValue Breakfast Meal no 4 to be exact. Sausage muffin with egg, hash brown and tea. Not worth the monetary value, but then I didn't have any other choice. Picked up my meal, grabbed a copy of MYC magazine on the way and headed upstairs to enjoy the food. A couple were having their breakfast also, I guessed they too wanted to watch movie afterwards. Everyone minded their own business, and me happily leafing through the magazine while eating my hash brown. It was peaceful, with only background noise that was not really noticeable.

Not long after, my peaceful breakfast was disturbed by 2 girls (just finished school I guess) next to me. Typical KL girl, with their fancy dressing, loud mouth and all. Being me who prefer to avoid the problem than to face it head on (if possible), I was just ready to pack my meal and sit elsewhere. But suddenly, I changed my mind. I know this blog is not updated regularly, so I thought heck, why not I just stay and listen to what these girls are gossiping about. It might give me some idea on what to blog, and boy was I true..

The conversation was quite boring at first, sharing stories about school subjects and grades bla..bla.. I'm too old and I left school quite a long time to find those stories interesting. Then the usual girl's topic, shopping+hand bag+branded shoes+make ups and what not. Then came the interesting topic, boys. One of them was blabbering about her colleague who were treated like rubbish at home. To summarize the story, the boy's family is rich. His father was an MD at one factory, and the boy is currently working at the factory as production staff. He goes to work everyday with his uncle who is also working there, and since the uncle is the manager of the factory so it's usual for him to come a bit late. Well obviously the boy also arrives late everyday, and due to the fact he is the son of the factory's MD no one dares to say a word about it. But then his father scolds him everyday for him being late to work, and to make matters worst it is the same story at home. He is scolded by his mom saying he is useless and all, but he never say a word about it and dutifully do his chores like washing the dishes etc. Oh additional, the boy is not allowed to go out once it is dark.

The girls were very upset and mad to the boy's family, treating him like that and all. Two arguments they said that made me think how different it is for someone who is just finished secondary school and doesn't have any working experience yet with someone who has stepped into 9-5 (9-6 in my case) world.

1. The boy goes to work with his uncle, and since his uncle goes to work late it is not the boy's fault that he also arrives late to work (his father tells him to go with his uncle).
2. The boy should just run away from home because he's treated like rubbish anyway although he does his house chores.

Listening to these girls, I couldn't help myself to smile how big the difference between them and me. How I would have also thought like them when I was at their age. Well I guess working life changes me a lot. It teaches me the concept of responsibility, which for me is the root cause of every action we take. For every action there must be reaction. These girls failed to realize that whether the boy is the MD's son, he is the company's staff. Like it or not, he has to adhere to the company's rules and regulations. It's not the company's problem that he arrives late due to his uncle is late everyday. Pity the boy who fails to take different actions to ensure he is not late everyday, but pity more to the girls who blame the wrong person in this case. As for me, the boy's father acts in a professional way as what the company requires, just like what Saidina Umar did when he discovered his son committed adultery. Professionalism plays a big thing once you're working, and if you can maintain your professionalism I'm sure you are going to be company's favorite.

On the second argument, I think the boy does the right thing. Why would he run away from home just because he is treated like rubbish? Well for me, it is not mistreatment at all. The family still gives him food and shelter. What the boy just need to do is act like nothing happen and play deaf. You run away and you don't have constant supply of food and shelter, but if you play deaf to all those nasty words you still have food and shelter. Heck, I'd choose option 2 any given day. Just play along with the tempo, save enough money and when your financial is stable then only you run away.

I don't know whether it is teenager's thinking or what. I guess after being introduced to working environment, I begin to accept the concept of professionalism and responsibility. Or is it just freaky me who thinks 3 steps ahead for every action I take, I don't know..

By the way, Ghost Rider gets a 5 out of 10 by me. Great CGI, but miserable story. For movie review, search the goddamn Internet. Google is created for a reason.

(blogging while listening to Whenever I May Roam by Metallica)

Jan 28, 2007

Compulsory or Willingly?

A brief intro for myself: I seldom thank people for any help that I requested. I don't know, it has become a habit for me not to thank people. Not that I'm being selfish or something, just that it is hard for me to say "Thank You" to other people especially those who I am really close to. I'm pretty sure those who know me would become accustomed to my habit and not making a big deal out of it. Well, I do get cynical "Where's your thank you?" from them, occasionally, but most of them jokingly said that knowing that being me, saying Thank You is quite a task. Simple words, not even sacrificing your whole breathe to be uttered. Then why would I am so reluctant to say these 'magic' words? Here's why..

As many of you has known, I practice social engineering. That means, I study people's behavior and while at the same time, practicing things I learnt. Frequently, I do things that are not noticed by other people unless they hold up and think carefully of my actions. I don't know why I do this. Is it because of fun, thrill (don't think of any), norm or just for the heck of it? Can't even answer that myself, although for certain actions I do know the reason behind it.

The reason why I don't thank people for the help I received is because, most of the time I don't thank them verbally. People think that by saying "Thank You" is the proper way of being grateful towards the help you get. Then I would like to ask, why is that for Muslim you said "Alhamdulillah" which means "Praise be to God" instead of "Syukran ya Allah" which directly means "Thank you Allah" after you eat, drink, receive something good etc? Same analytical concept, but applied in different subjects. I don't thank people because for me, saying thank you is over-rated. You said "Thank You" and after that what? The person helping you doesn't receive anything in return, which resulted the action to be a win-lose situation (your side is winning and the person is losing). Good because you're winning but why not making it even better, both side win? So here comes the logic. I do thank people, indistinctively. That means they mostly don't realize I'm being grateful of the help they give, not in that instance of time. If I ask for your help in buying things, I wouldn't mind you racking in extra charges (with consideration of the item price, mind you) because I already accounted for your loses of energy, time and any uncountable items you may have. Or I might give you extra credit in anything that I do, I don't know. It has become an unconscious act for me to the point I don't even realize I'm thanking someone. Then someone might ask, why don't I do both? Answer is simple and I stressed again, for me saying "Thank You" is over-rated. Do you, seriously, think that those thank you big fishes give are sincere? Put yourself in this situation: You've just completed a major and critical task for your organization. In what way would you think you are really appreciated: a thank-you card/e-mail from your supervisor, or a simple after-work invitation to have a cup of coffee at any nearby stall? I don't know, people choose option 1 mostly. Me, I'd prefer 2nd option, with the reason that this option will make me closer to my supervisor and in future, might favor me in return. I'm not the type who thinks 2 or 3 steps forward. I'm just an average-Joe like most of us. It's just that for the action I take, I do it without me realizing it. And I like it, as it will benefit me more in future than in present time.

So, specifically to my other half, I would like to stress this. Even though I don't say "Thank You" for all the help you've given me, I do express it visually or psychologically. I don't become an idiotic boyfriend like many men are, I don't make a big fuss when you drive my car and doesn't look at the side mirror while changing lane, I don't even scoff when I have to pick you up from my home in KL all the way to the end of Selangor. The reason, my dearest, for my lack of expressing my gratefulness, is because I like the way you help me. You didn't see how happy I am for every help you give. All those minor things that I asked you to do (yes I can do them by myself actually) are because I want us to be able to co-operate. I want us to perform flawlessly as a single mechanism, so that we don't run into trouble once we get married. We surely don't have much time to train if we don't start now. So, sincerely from my heart, I would like to beg so that you think for a second of anything I do before lashing your whip at me. Me, being a programmer, I do think for a reason. If you weight my brain, the left part would be heavier than the right part. Go search the functions of left brain and right brain, and you'll see the reason why. Yes I know you're the right-brain type, quick with words and emotional feelings. I am learning, give me some time to mutate into 'half programmer half poet-writer'. And I would like to ask you, please be logical in every action that you take. As what programmers always say, it's easier to code right the first time than to waste your time debugging things that shouldn't be there.

I've expressed myself enough for today, I think my brain starts to malfunction. Need some restlkasjzxm;p2;sa...

Jan 17, 2007

I Have No Idea..

Ever been too pissed off to the point that you don't know what to do? I have, and I am having it right now. I'm mad, I don't know who to blame, I certainly don't have anywhere to express my anger, and most importantly is I promise to keep my anger level now (read: anger management). So here I am, instead of unleashing Hell towards somebody I am blogging about this. Thankfully, I'm a bit more cooled down..

Happy Thaiponggal (sp?) to all Indians in Malaysia specially and in the World generally. Wish you guys a prosperous incoming Thaipusam (wondering how I'm going to work the day before and the day after, roads gonna be jam-packed..)

[addition]
I've already got Metallica S&M video CD. I got it from.. erm.. you know.. I downlo.., no, someone borrowed me the CDs. Currently enjoying this near 10 years old concert. Yes I like Metallica very much *goes hiding*